oPPrEseD!!! lOve dAd and mUm!

argh! i've just typed a whole lot of entry but it's totally gone now. this is one thing why i totally will never rely too much on technology. it's plain dumb! never will be able to understand the human feelings.

went to see ama in the Mt. Elizabeth Hospital in the early morning. she was undergoing a surgery for the removal of lumps of meat growing on the wall of her digestive cannal. she was given the anasthetics so that she would not feel a single bit of pain during the process. dad, mum, me, ako, si-cim, sa-cek, sa-cim waited in the waiting arena for her to regain her consciousness. i did not talk much because i was very stress about an issue that i would talk about later. but ako, si-cim, sa-cim and akong were nice people. they tried to get me involve in their conversation by laughing together at the lame things that they were saying. however, i was still very depressed after that. when ama regained her consciousness, we visited her in her ward room. she said that she did not know what was going on the whole time. also, she felt like she hadn't been doing the surgery at all. wow! technology, these days, are so advanced. people of all ages are able to do any type of surgery their heart wishes to do. no limitations. furthermore, people were given the freedom too. it's no wonder why doctors earn so much money everyday. people are always concern about their health and appearance, which in most cases can affect their self-esteem and life. god, please help me see the purposed plan that you have in store for me. pls... lyn and lum bought their new year clothes in PS today, after we ate at the food court.

so the agency at IDP told me that my prelim results were not good enough to make it to the april accelerated programme. i totally regret not putting in my best for the o'level. why did i ever get involved in such stupid stuff during that crucial year of my life? it's totally not worth it. now that it had happened, i think i totally screwed up my future. and because of it, i had landed myself in a doubtful stage. to go for my passion towards paediatrician, or to pursue my best subject-maths and becoming an accountant.

my challenges now:
1. to enter trinity college april accelerated programme- at least 3 As and 3 Bs in the o'level result. [if not, i'll have to go to the july main programme which will end in july 2008]
2. to enter university of melbourne from trinity college- (bachelor of medicine) at least 80% for english result in foundation programme and at least an average of 87% for other 3 subjects (bachelor of commerce) at least a pass for english and average of 87% for 4 subjects including english
3. to enter university of melbourne from monash- (bachelor of medicine) at least an average of 95% for 4 subjects in foundation programme (bachelor of commerce) at least 90% for 4 subjects

as you can see, it's really a tough call. so i can't quite decide which one to become yet. paediatrician is fun, seeing kids everyday. but the journey towards it is very tough. accountant's dull job but journey towards it is slightly easier. so which one? why are they both so different?? argh~ if they were similar, then i don't have to wreck my brain like this anymore. thinking so hard about their advantages and disadvantages. so i am really in dismay mood right now. Lord, help me make my decision by at least tomorrrow. i think i'll stay at home hibernating and really planning for my future tomorrow. maybe i'll not have the mood to have fun at val's party.

but thank you to dad and mum. they spent their afternoon, helping me choose the right school. and you know, they are there for me when in times of need. if i were to go there alone, i don't think i'll be able to retrieve enough information regarding studying in australia. and without mum, i think i would have broke down upon hearing the shocking news already. and i might have missed out a few blanks in the application form somewhere. she endured the freezing temperature in that room just for me! =D i also would like to thank the consultants of IDP. without them, i might be so helpless later that i would be 20 years old by the time i enter a university there. i would not even have the idea yet of the requirements needed to enter the course that i like. so a big THANKS to all of the above. especially Amy Koh. she's friendly and kind to explain to us all the adequate information needed with patience.

man! i can't imagine that within 2 months or so, i would be taking my flight to sydney/melbourne. i am so leaving my family... friends here... my memories... my life... my home... will i be crying buckets and buckets of water then? )= hope that i'll leave singapore and not to forget, indonesia, with a big happy smile! =D like this. haha.

so much for today. will update again soon. hopefully by that time i would have made my decision already. and may it be of accordance to God's will. hallelujah! i love my daddy and mummy more than ever today. maybe it's due to the hurtful fact that i'm leaving them soon. very soon. ='(