i am so suffering from depression today!!
=X
i feel like dying~
i realised that i am a very slacky person..
so far, i've flunked my physics paper, just passed by a maths test by a mark. and today the oral i got 5 answers different from from all my friends. and i mean ALL! so that means, it's confirmed that i will lose those marks alr la. moreover, this is o level listening comprehension lei! die liao la~ ='(
i am feeling so faithless now..
low in spirit to do things..
feel like giving up in life..
i had no motivation and encouragement until the prayer session my family conducted just now. feel that i've had more hope~ i want to make a promise to god that i am worth it to sit on the throne of his kingdom!
YES!!!
I AM WORTHY OF GOD'S MERCY!
no physics extended curriculum today due to the listening comprehension. wakakaka! so good! XD can skip such a boring lesson!~
the second thing that's depressing is that i get so low for my a maths test la. this is the first time in my life that i get so low like this la. very shocking!! 31/60! oh man! what's happening to me??? am i under a curse? nahx... i'm just kidding. =)
so i have deeply regretted for not studying for my a maths and physics test. mrs ong said that some ppl get so low for this test because they feel inferior to the subject. and, i think she's so referring to me! shit. then after school, mrs ong walked past us and she tapped xl and my back, and said, 'xl get a b3 for me. rosemary get a c6 for me. you all better study hard for your prelims.' i felt so guilty upon hearing her words. later at the drink shop, she also called my name again. i thought she gonna scold me again. but phew~ it turned out that she wanted me to pass her a straw. HAHA! guilty conscience maybe. keep feeling that i'm pathetic and have 'failed in life'...
saw panu by the pool after school. studying seh! surprising. it's rare to see the guys studying but yet today's so special! after i came back from the shop, i asked panu about terence. try to get as much as i could. but minutes later, we saw terence and pris walking. wahx! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!
so, i quarreled with him again! wahx! can't stand his arrogance man! it's making me mad!!! i dunno how to tolerate him any longer. i talked until i wanna blurt out horrible, meanest things and broke down to tears ar. lucky pris was beside me. she protected me from terence! so good! she is the best!!!~ anyways, he sux big time la! argghh!!!
my depression gets worse like this each day i see him... yuck~! should avoid talking to him next time... hmm..
so from this week onwards, i am under a limit to 3 times of bball per week. so sad. but it's for my own good also. so i am not against it or having any complaints regarding it la. maybe this is one way to help me concentrate better on my studies bahx..
fell asleep before the start of the listening compre. have to listen to some classical songs that make me sleepy for 15 mins. my eyes were droopy and my mind kinda suffering from mindblock also. bleah~ bad start to the exam la!! wasted! i should have slept earlier last night! aiya~ too late for any regrets now...
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