made up my mind this morning about the recent tragedy.
i've decided to wait...
yeap..that's right!
i may sound like a freakin idiot who had no brain cells to think for my own good. but my heart tells me not to give up on him yet. well, actually i still have feeling for him. that's the main reason behind my decision. now i'm really wondering... am i an idiot? not an american idiot, but an indonesian idiot! =X
gulps...im tryin really hard not to waste my energy and time thinking about guys anymore now. but i always listen to my heart instead of my brain. oh please, kill me! *kidding...pls don't! i'm still young!(:* anyways, he said let's become normal friends. but somehow my heart refused. i dun want us to become normal friends?!? it will be be better if we return back to the bro-sis relationship that we once were in. haix. but i can't force him and he can't force me... if we are really meant to be, then we'll definitely end tis cold war soon--> ko tatan said. so, the only one thing that i can do now is... PRAY and have FAITH in us both!
i'm reflecting on myself and him lately. when i told my sad sad story to pris and ko tatan, they all say LK's been using me as an entertainment machine (which i felt too for a very long time ago). but the thing is even though this is a fact, i still like him. weird huh? i dun even know what's this about me and him. why is this feeling so mysterious? that even me myself and my heart dun understand. oh man! i just hate this feeling that even though i'm trying really hard to understand, i still can't get the answer!
he's so the jealous type. that just a little bit of jealousy can cause everything to be destroyed. quiet scary when i think about it now. but all the same, i like him. (: haix... and even though i think that he don't deserve me as his stead (like what he said), i'm still willing to try my best to care for him. being out of love is never a nice feeling you know. and that's why i feel i had to do this. although from now onwards, i will not bother him much in msn, etc.. i just pray that everything will fall back nicely again like it used to be before. and i believe God hears my prayer! yea. my God's a good God alright!
-Thank God for that!-
i've never felt this way before. and so this is the first time. it's like everything just don't go on as per normal anymore. my life became much more empty and boring without him. i really hope all these end soon. cause i don't think i can take it any longer.
yeap..that's right!
i may sound like a freakin idiot who had no brain cells to think for my own good. but my heart tells me not to give up on him yet. well, actually i still have feeling for him. that's the main reason behind my decision. now i'm really wondering... am i an idiot? not an american idiot, but an indonesian idiot! =X
gulps...im tryin really hard not to waste my energy and time thinking about guys anymore now. but i always listen to my heart instead of my brain. oh please, kill me! *kidding...pls don't! i'm still young!(:* anyways, he said let's become normal friends. but somehow my heart refused. i dun want us to become normal friends?!? it will be be better if we return back to the bro-sis relationship that we once were in. haix. but i can't force him and he can't force me... if we are really meant to be, then we'll definitely end tis cold war soon--> ko tatan said. so, the only one thing that i can do now is... PRAY and have FAITH in us both!
i'm reflecting on myself and him lately. when i told my sad sad story to pris and ko tatan, they all say LK's been using me as an entertainment machine (which i felt too for a very long time ago). but the thing is even though this is a fact, i still like him. weird huh? i dun even know what's this about me and him. why is this feeling so mysterious? that even me myself and my heart dun understand. oh man! i just hate this feeling that even though i'm trying really hard to understand, i still can't get the answer!
he's so the jealous type. that just a little bit of jealousy can cause everything to be destroyed. quiet scary when i think about it now. but all the same, i like him. (: haix... and even though i think that he don't deserve me as his stead (like what he said), i'm still willing to try my best to care for him. being out of love is never a nice feeling you know. and that's why i feel i had to do this. although from now onwards, i will not bother him much in msn, etc.. i just pray that everything will fall back nicely again like it used to be before. and i believe God hears my prayer! yea. my God's a good God alright!
-Thank God for that!-
i've never felt this way before. and so this is the first time. it's like everything just don't go on as per normal anymore. my life became much more empty and boring without him. i really hope all these end soon. cause i don't think i can take it any longer.
played bb in the morning and night today. sweat my strresss out! it's really relieving. bb soothed me so much.. :)
-
Pray and have Faith, Mary!
-
Pray and have Faith, Mary!
No comments:
Post a Comment