fAsTing wOrks! :)

my mood right now is totally 180-degrees from the past few days. so much had happened during these past few days. and i thank god for every minute of it. i am now more happy and contented with myself.

=)

okay really a lot a lot had happened. now i dunno where to start off first. hmm...let's start with the eugene guy first. i know many ppl are worried about me regarding this matter, esp my lovely cousins. they were all afraid that i may be harmed by eugene. i, myself, was a bit worried when i first met him on the platform of orchard mrt after church service and lunch at scotts (crystal jade). he looked so totally different from the photo on his msn display. uglier~ =X and furthermore he lied about his height. he said he's 1.73m but i'm afraid it shld be 1.6?m. i mean come on! must he really resort himself to telling lies, in order to get me to meet him. i'm not tt type of person tt judge others by looks de, okay? (actually yes lar =P) anyways whatever la. it's over liaoz. yep so back to yesterday. luckily i was nt alone when i met eugene that time. pris, ayrton and tin (all of whom were my darling cousins!) were there too. we were abt to take the mrt back home to our home. when i first met him, i refused to talk to him. cos i'm starting to regret the whole thing. i dun feel like meeting him anymore. i dun feel like talking to him anymore. i just don feel like doing anything with him anymore. he suck to me at that point of time. he really freak me out til i an't stand steady on the mrt no more. my legs were obviously shivering with fear. i tell you! if he ever dare lay a finger on me, i'm gonna smack him down like those WWF wrestlers. i am pretty strong for a girl mind you. =X oh and pris warned him with a rather serious tone to not hurt me. she like scolded him in front of the passengers on the mrt. luckily no one really minded. they kinda mind their own businesses. i think eugene freaked out listening to pris talk in that way to him. obigood! XD good job, pris! and thank you again!

=))

while walking to the mrt station, pris told me how much i'd changed from last time. and the old me is so much better than the now me. =(( i was so saddened by this that i hated myself from then on. i feel like breaking down at that point of time. i wanna cry. here is all my cousins so concerned and worried about me! i felt that love from them! i'm truly touched. all of them had read this blog and gave me advices and such that is very important. i love you guys so much! you guys are saving me from my cut-out world!! =)) if not for you guys, i think i'll lose all my respect for myself rite now. luckily it's not that late to turn back at that time. phew! so after i realised how much i'd changed alrdy, i made myself this promise that:

i, Rosemary Gunawan, shall not meet up with any unknown person (esp guys), except through close friends, ever again (yesterday was the first and, i hope, the last one too). i, shall not lose my integrity and respect to anybody. i, shall place all my 100% attention on my studies and not other stuffs that are considered distractions to my future carreer and purpose/plan of God.

and if i were to break this promise, these are the major things that will bound to happen:

1. ko tatan will not talk to me for one whole year.
2. pris would cut off our cousins' tie and would not talk to me anymore forever.--->so scary! X(

see how scary my cousins are?!? but deep inside them, they cared for me a lot...that's why threatened me with these types of stuffs. =)) well, i believe i can keep my promises well.

mary! let you control your body and mind, not your body and mind control you!

so yesterday, eugene came to my house downstairs. he had promised to teach me physics, as he scored well for hir triple sciences. so he said it's very easy to teach la. he's a good teacher i have to admit! younger than me but smarter than me~ i'm so ashamed! we studied from 3 plus to 5plus. revised the sec3 chapters and sound chapter. i asked him a lot of questions and thankfully, all my doubts were cleared after the tuition. he makes a good tutor. =) he treat me eat tidbits he bought from the minimart. so kind...but dunno inside him really kind or act one. eee...so scary and eerie. at first i feel very awkward around him but after sometime, i treat him like a tutor lor. totally lose all that weird weird feeling. but i pity him lar. he come my house teach me so many things, and all i do was thank him and played bb with him after that. his basketball skill not as good as mine! XD -eee so bhb arh me!- and yesterday will be the last time i'll be meeting him so... quite pitiful lar. it's like i'm bullying/using him for my advantage. XD but who cares? he's the one that promised me he'll help me with my sciences de. so not my fault! hohoho... (i hope he's not seeing this! if not i'll be dead! maybe even kidnapped! choy ar~XD) he went home at 6. he actually requested me to walk him to the mrt station but sorry! i dun even know you well to call you my friend even. so too bad! pls make your own way home man! and dun come here ever again! *am i being cruel?* i felt so relieved when i plopped myself on the soft soft bed. and i felt realli lucky that nothing bad had happened. i feel so fortunate. really.

den at night. tin's fren came down to the bb court to join us in the match. wei yong and zi fu (her seniors), lydia(her classmate) and her girl guides senior. man! yeaterday was wild and very exciting. i was very aggressive during the game. everyone was lar. basketball is a man's game yea? and since i left wei yong a bad impression the last time we chatted (you can view my friendster blog to read what really happened), and he left me a bad impression of him too (his attitude and rudeness), yesterday had been a time when our misunderstandings were cleared from each other's mind. now, he dun hate me no more. and i dun hate him as well.. yeah! now, my troubles had somehow lessened. i am so glad that the misunderstandings had been cleared. i think of him as a cute, kind, friendly guy now. i regretted hating him! but what's passed has passed. never regret! time is money! =)) many many ppl came to play bb yesterday with us. definitely more than 10! almost 20! there's david, pamm, her mum, her dad, gio, shi han, pris, ayrton, lyn, tin2, me, wei yong, lydia, zi fu, gg senior, valerie, jeanette, zhi hui, dawn and his couz. we had loads of fun and laughter and most obviously, SCREAMS!!! XD i shoot the balls into the basket a lot, cos i enjoyed the game. and i put all my effort to win the match! and i think we won! nobody counted the scores but by the look of it, my team is stronger. all the pro pro shooters are in my team. eg. david, shi han, zhi hui, gio, me, tin, dawn (came later with couz). we rox! wonder when we will be having such a nice game again! i am gonna miss it! =( well and wei yong praised my sister for being cute! he said she'll turn out to be a beatiful lady when she grows up! wow~ i am so proud of my sister! =D

den last night... L.K. finally smsed me! thank God. i've prayed and fasted for this day to come. God answered my prayer. yea..actually he's not angry...just jealous he admitted:) and he asked whether he'd treated me too cool-ly for the past few days. i answered him with a very serious tone and told him everything that i feel. how i think he's using me and all. not serious with everything. and i dun like it. i think i told him off last night. =) i told ya! he's the jealous type! hahax. so cute. but yea...we've agreed that we'll not have any relationship until after our levels. i dun wanna get side-tracked again off my education path. i really hate it. it's like i dun even know myself anymore. too distracted with these extra extra stuffs. and i also dun think i'm mature enuff to start bgr rite now. i'm easily stressed and broke down easily when i'm angry/sad over something. but i appreciate what he said yesterday. he will woo me back when our levels are done! =D so understanding. i hope we'll remain this way forever. no stress. no worries. taking things slowly and normally. it's still not my time yet for a guy to step into my life. i dun have the time for him, i guess. LK's a good guy. and i had the feeling that he's very serious this time round about the things that he promised me. well dude! dun break them! or you'll be sorry! *evil laugh*

i cried last night. i never hated myself that much before. luckily tin2 was there to accompany me talk talk, den my feeling got better. den i went to bed. zZzZz~ sweat a lot from the bb match!

okay... that's almost everything that had happened during that short short period of time yesterday (after church). very memorable indeed. God has blessed me with another wonderful day yet again. praise the Lord. P.S. i led the ending prayer for the bible study on saturday. and i think i did a good job in it. sophie, my bible study teacher, praised me for it! i am so proud of myself. it's like i've climbed over this great barrier that i'd feared i'd came upon before. 3 cheers for mary! Hip hip hooray!~ *tyty* "there's no need to clap further ppl!" *eee...so bhb! think got so many ppl want to clap for me when no one actually will*

-R luv dots man-