iPod LOST!!! -dYing-

today was so sad. now it all become pretty clear to me. i am pretty much suffering from some kind of depression these few days. starting from the day i lost my samsung black phone til now. and i guess this will not end any sooner, looking at the things that has been happening to me all these while. even today, on the day of the lord.

i was in high spirits, preparing myself for church in the early morning. it was like any other day. i chose to wear the new MANGO shirt that i bought yesterday, with a jeans and a white coat to complement it. carrying no bag, i passed all my stuffs to lyn. iPod, wallet, writing pad. all was safely inside her bag until i took it out in the taxi for some music entertainment. but to my disappointment, it was out of battery so i asked lyn to keep it back inside her bag. but little did we know, she didn't put it inside. so when she alighted from the vehicle, the earphone was dangling by her slingbag, detached from the iPod that i love so much. we got so panic after the truth hit us. then we saw taxi after taxi passing us by, and we tried to remember all we could about that taxi that we sat on. then i called translink company, and told the operator all that i knew. but nothing was found yet so far. so either the passenger, after us, took it or either the taxi driver kept it for himself. so for the whole service i was not in a good mood. got quite distracted with the thought of my iPod.

then suddenly i realized.

why is it that i will only start to treasure what i have til it's gone? why is it that i was so careless? why is this all happening to me? then again, why do people these few days, have no integrity? why do the kind souls so rare to come by again and again? why are humans so full of greed in this broken world? why??? can god tell me why?

how i just wish that god can just rewind back the time. bring me back to the time passage when i was still in the taxi.or maybe even on that bus ride to school. i promise i will try to be as careful as i can next time, if there's even a chance to. i promise i will not take things for granted from now on. i have realized how valuable my stuffs are and that all these do not come cheap. they all came from the hard work and love that my father had given for me. so that i could be happy. as his daughter. but look at what i've done in exchange for his love? again and again, i've misplaced all his gifts and did not keep it well. i took things for granted too many times. that i can't even forgive myself. everytime i looked at him, tears start welling up in the corner of my eyes. i just feel like kneeling before him, and say, 'i love you dad.' as many times as i can. all the things that i wanted did not matter as much as him now. his love is what that matters now. how precious is a father's love to me now. ohhh... and god. please... take away my every greed inside of me. take away every fear, every worry, every sorrow, every guilt, every hatred, every judgement, every bad habit, every unforgiveness. all these away in the name of Jesus!

now father, i come before you right now. to seek a new beginning of my life together beside you. teach me how to lead a perfect life that is in your way and of pleasure to you lord. teach me how to feel happy everyday lord. teach me all that there is to know about you lord. ohh... i'm so in hunger of you right now. i pray that the holy spirit will help to guide me when i'm at the wrong path. i want so much to be burning of that fire again. fill my heart inside with your pure love lord. touch my heart again like you did at the start of everything lord. i love you with all my heart.

all these i pray in jesus mighty name. amen.


...
yesterday had been pretty fun. i exceeded my budget at orchard. duh... it's like so happening everytime. and this is definitely not my first. if dad were to check on the credit card bills, he would probably be raging with anger man! oopps. now i realized, more than ever, that i'm a very naughty daughter. bad horrible daughter. argh! i really must treat dad nicer from tml onwards. yup yup. must! so yesterday pris shopped for her prom dress. so lyn and me also picked some clothes just so that we too could be doing something while she is trying her clothes on. i tried so much woolly clothes. i said that i love woolly stuffs. and guess wad? pris said that i am suitable to be wearing that type of clothes. so happy! also i saw so many different type of boots on display everywhere i went. i want one too! XD hmm... mum said last time she'd buy one for me. *pray* (= i bought new korean drama too! plus high school musical and lake house. my cousin bought 2 korean drama! and currently, we're watching one. man! it's really nice. we started crying at episode 1! haha yes. it's that nice! (=

i'd not bought my prom dress yet. and i dun intend to go even for the prom. no mood!

played bb tonight with wei quan, shi han, zhihui, pamm, mum, *dunno*, pris and lyn. it's been so long since i'd laughed that happy already. argh! can't wait for the next time! XD however, it rained at 9 plus. not even 9.30 yet. then 15 mins later, i was back inside the court again, to take my handphone. i was careless again! to left it there in the drizzle rain...

oh btw pris cut her new hairstyle today. dyed it too. she looked so different now. hmm i shall secretly take a photo of her and paste it here for rememberance. hahax. shocking that she'd cut her hair til it's like that short. lolx. *sshh*

good night to all. sweet dreams and i shall blog again tomorrow about my depression.