d3prEssed agaIn!

finally recovered from my fever. still left the flu that's all. so actually, knowing that i was still feeling unwell, i thought of skipping drama class. but after much consideration, i feel that it's much better if i go for class. who knows maybe i can learn sth really important right? and indeed, we learn how to do emotion transition today, which is sth that we have to apply to our monologue exam. today my partner Fion didn't come and so i had to partner up with this one china girl. we both kinda had a communication breakdown so in the end, our act kinda screwed up. maybe this is one reason why i felt quite sad today. because our acting was BAD! )= anyway, i felt pretty terrible. feel so alone. nobody really had any interesting conversation with me, except for Wiry that is. we discussed much about indonesian and malaysia rock bands. it was pretty interesting. he intro me to lots of malay songs and even to this filipino singer. which was cool! then, during HOI, i chatted mostly to XinYue because she was sitting next to me. Wiry was also involved in his conversation with Aza. as for Val, she sat far away from me. know what? i felt pretty alone these few days. partly homesick. partly stressed up. talking to mami, lyn and eric yesterday really made me miss them a lot! i wish they could fly over here now! take me with you guys!

you know what? i felt that my used-to-be close friends were not as close anymore. i don't know why. last week, we were okay. but after the weekend, i suddenly felt very out-of-touch with them all. this loneliness is killing me. i wanted so much to talk to them. but there's sort of an awkward feeling from me to like for example, Val and Aza. also, Tahnee seemed like she didn't want to talk to us anymore. she kept disappearing without informing us. i mean, as her friends, she should right? anyway, i am really confused now as to who are my friends now. and why are they feeling like this now??? is it because of me??? did i do sth bad to them or sth??? i tried to think about it, but i just couldn't find anything wrong. )= then WHY???

now to Eric, my brother who's currently pretty stressed out for his O Levels. mum told me yesterday that he had failed 5 subjects for his mid year exam! omgosh! really scares me! i could tell that my mum was feeling really worried yesterdady about his work. that explained all the missed calls i got from her for the last few days. so immediately after that, i called Eric and really motivated him for 2 hrs or so. we didn't know we'd talk for that long. and surely, dad is going to scream again at my phone bill for that! =X GULP.

i seriously need a break from all these things man!!!